Ups, downs, and getting stuck

RAWR! F*ck this week. Seriously. 

I don't know why, but this whole week I've been worthless. I went to the gym Monday morning and got my run on, and since then? Nothing. Nada. Actually, I lie. I've been eating. A LOT. I can't seem to stop! I got rid of the tons of left over Halloween candy I had because it was just dangerous to have around (especially all of the chocolate), but I swear I've done nothing but gain weight all week and I can seem to get motivated to do anything about it.

I actually cried Tuesday morning (I'm calling it a mix of PMS, just waking up and being pissed) after I weighed myself. I was SO sure I could get under 200 lbs by Halloween. It didn't happen. Tuesday morning I was 202.4. WTF. I did SO well up until Tuesday morning. I've switched to green tea instead of coffee, I steered clear of 'bad for me' foods last weekend and I didn't even drink at my best friend's wedding b/c I wanted to hit that 199 mark. F*CK ME. Seriously. I was so upset. Obviously I'm still not thrilled.

I need someone to yell at me when I put bad things in my mouth. I need to gain more self control. I need someone to MAKE me go work out when I don't want to. Brian pokes me every morning at 5:30 when my alarm goes off and I've just been waving him off saying I'll work out in the afternoon. I haven't. I've been a lazy bum - but I attribute it to my attitude. I'm so bummed right now about not reaching my weight goal.

But, I do think I'm physically looking better. Check out my November 1 pics here.

Halloween is quickly approaching!

And I'm still not under 200 lbs. I'm sitting pretty at 202. WTF, Body!? I can't say it's my body's fault, actually. Brian and I have been terrible with our diet in the last week or so. I blame the McRib - he heard it's back and we've had McD's 3 times. I also blame McD's because two of those three times, I tried to order a grilled chicken sandwich. Once they were out of chicken breasts, the other time, I waited 17 (yes, SEVENTEEN) minutes for my grilled chicken sandwich, then they said I still had to wait 3 more minutes b/c they hadn't started cooking it yet. Brian was done. Stupid McDonalds.

I think I'm also thinking that I'm somehow sabotaging myself. Its as if I'm telling myself "hey, its not a big deal if you eat that cookie, you worked out yesterday!" a lot. Way too often. And beer - I need to not drink beer, or plan for it or something.

I love beer. Why can't beer be healthy?!